I’ll encase myself in a shell, one that looks like happiness. I’ll wear it so well, that you won’t be able to see the hell I’m in. I’ll get to the end of the race without your judgement and superior opinions. I know what I need to do to get there. You say it’s my sorrow that causes you to give me advice I didn’t ask for. Your accomplice breaks me down. Pretends to relate to the process but then tells me, my process isn’t okay. It’s not just you. There’s our friend who claims to have my back but sympathizes with hell and not with me. Then leaves me stranded with no sort of notice. So what you’ve both and all those involved or any bystander to my life are receiving as a consequence to what is misconstrued or incapable of understanding through your minds, will be my happy shell that will no longer reflect my inside. Because I’ve got this and you’re slowing me down. You’re adding another weight to my back, when I already carry so much. I can’t trust you to carry any of this with me, because you’re too focused on your opinion of what I should do. Instead of supporting me as I go through it. In the way that’s right for me. The way I know that I have to. We’ll find out how good of an actress I am. I hope it’s damn good if I’m going to get to the other side of this transition. I can do anything I put my mind to. I’m certain of that. I don’t need to be told that. Yet, I still have people telling me that, along with what’s best for me and what I should do. Turns out everyone thinks I don’t know what’s best for me and they do instead. From here until this cloud passes, we’ll talk about your lives and not mine. We’ll talk about superficial things and nothing emotional that may go on with me. Because I am alone in this and now I know that I have to be. You’ll see the face of me, you enjoy to see. I forgot how much easier it is for me to do these things by myself. I forgot that a lot of times alone is how I’ve done things in the past.
Love you guys (Sam our sister doesn’t have instagram does she? )